Children can be so cruel.
I have a vivid memory as a child. A group of us were standing in front of a car door looking at our reflections distorted by the shine of the paint.
One of the other kids said look at how fat I am in the car! We all laughed and continued moving around and doing funny faces until someone said “But Sarah you look fat like that all the time.”
I was always taller than average and one day someone decided that a good nickname for me would be Godzilla
I have grown up in a society that is pro-teasing. Gaslighting is an everyday happenstance. It is very normal to casually say mean things and then when the victim gets upset, the response is: “What happened to you? You can’t take a joke or what?”
For sensitive souls like myself, this leads to the development of thick skin and an inability to let people in without a fight. It also results in a core belief that the world is not safe and a deep fear of being judged for being vulnerable or soft or expressing emotions.
Through lots of self-work I have discovered that my sensitivity is a strength and a gift. My ability to feel deep emotions is what allows others to share their secrets with me, allows me to serve as a non-judgemental space and help others to sort out their feelings and heal. It has allowed me to become a safe space for others that I wish I had.
It also allows me to notice that momentary look of defeat that passes accross someones face when one of those passive aggressive “jokes” are made. It gives me the opportunity to call it out for what it is. Mean.
I always say there are many ways to be funny without hurting someone elses feelings or putting someone else down.
I believe people do this because of:
1. Deep insecurity; it is easier to make fun of other people before they can make fun of you.
2. It was what was done to them and hurt people hurt people.
If you are ever the subject of one of those mean and passive aggressive “jokes” don’t be afraid to call them out. A bully only has power until you stand up to them.
And if someone says you can’t take a joke, say “I can’t take mean-ness. Come back when you actually have something intelligent and funny to say.” 🤙
– The Curvy Trini
My Dress and this fun flamingo print crop top are from one of my favorite China Brands, Shein
Check them out and use the coupon code to enjoy