“No Bud, no Miller, no Stella, no Blue Moon, no Corona, no B*llsh%t*
Tamara and I bonded in what I know will one day become an iconic moment at the CURVYcon that was so wonderfully captured by New York based fashion photographer Lydia Hudgens. Will have to get my hands on a proper version of that photo soon.
We met for the first time at her exquisitely designed pop-up shop which was filled with things I love like fabulous clothing, macarons and rice crispy treats. I thought to myself I need to meet the woman who created this. While chatting we soon discovered that we had a lot in common including the fact that we live a few blocks from one another. We exchanged numbers immediately.
I woke up the next morning unable to stop thinking about the wonderful creative and healing energy that radiates from this beautiful soul. I was so excited when she agreed to have lunch with me!
I was a little nervous to meet Sher because I knew that she was Tamara’s brand mascot and assistant designer. Despite her itsy bitsy Chiwawa body, her bright and charismatic personality instantly filled the room. She reminded me of my little deaf b*tch Lola who I know when she one day arrives will be “so New York”.
Lola loves fashion, happily wearing her “Sorry Santa, I ate all the cookies” t-shirt for days on end but hates pictures which I am sure you can tell from her expression.
I shared with Tamara that I love that Lola doesn’t know that she is deaf. Animals don’t treat each other any differently even though they may be differently-abled. People always feel sorry for and attach stigmas to those who have handicaps. There is no worse feeling in the world than being patronized.
Lola rocks her stick legged, barrel shaped body and loves with reckless abandon. She has never once let her handicap stop her from living and enjoying life to the fullest. One day she ran away and came home pregnant but that’s another story, she never has a problem finding men #slutlife.
I said, “Why can’t people be more like that? Things are only a problem when we make them a problem.”
After a drink and admiring the elaborate dog birthday party that was taking place, we moved to another one of my favorite spots called Boulton and Watt.
I realized Tamara and I share an obsessive passion for dogs as well as promoting the plus sized fashion agenda. We both believe that it is time that all people be treated with dignity and respect despite the body they live in. We swapped stories about life in a larger body. Tamara grew up in Laguna Beach, California which is notoriously anti-fat. Her experiences there echoed my own, growing up in a fat body within a select society within Trinidad that is obsessed with thin-ness.
We talked about the way that fabulous fat women are so often hidden or shoved to the side and placed on the back burner.
My friend Renee Carafo says this just means that we have to do everything ten times better…which we do. I have a theory that all of the rejection, pain and shame that is poured down upon fat women is actually a gift in disguise. I believe that pain is a catalyst for transformation. This pain has created a group of POWERHOUSES and the era of the large bodied woman is being ushered in.
I felt so honored in that moment to be in the presence of such an enlightened, wise and like minded soul. We laughed, we cried, we walked Sher, we ate. I thought to myself how lucky I am to be alive in this time and space, and how good it is to finally be with someone who gets it.
Meeting Tamara and seeing her bright and whimsical designs I felt very hopeful that soon curvy women will not have to hide how fabulous they are any more.